I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
