So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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