Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
