and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize