just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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