I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
