I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You did what with his pubic hair?
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