I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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