I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I pour the whiskey from now on
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I deserve this hangover.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
