she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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