I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
