Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
