Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
We got so high we made milksteak
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize