Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
