Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
