I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
