im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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