dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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