she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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