I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
