Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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