im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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