He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
