Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
