ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
