he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
