It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
