i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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