I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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