it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize