i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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