she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
