How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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