that's an acceptable place to lick
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
