Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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