So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize