Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Come share oat with me in your robe
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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