I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
