garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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