Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Someone shit on the floor
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
