OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
