I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
