so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I smell stomach acid.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize