you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
