It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
