im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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