We're like a lot better than the average bears
only if we run a train.
done.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
