my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm at about main and main street
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
