laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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