THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
How does it feel to date your dad?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
