Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
In the future we'll all be gay
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize