we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
