my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
