We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
