his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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