my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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