it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
