been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
