The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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