i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize