brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
