sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
