He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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