Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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